About Babs and PLC
If you want the CV/experience details – scroll to the bottom – otherwise enjoy the read!
Once upon a time, a little girl was born in New York City to German immigrant parents. At her core, she was a joyous and happy being. She played in the dirt, saw and felt magic in the world, and experienced joy in the smallest things. However, as she grew up she learned that she was viewed as poor and different because she spoke a foreign language and practiced many non-American customs. Over time, as society and people laughed at and excluded her, she slowly lost touch with the joy and magic in life. People and experiences taught her that she never really belonged or fit in anywhere.
So she tried desperately to belong and to fit in. She exhausted herself trying to be good, pretty, smart, and successful. As she grew, she tried multiple relationships, jobs, kids, and finally dove deep into organized religion – all in a desperate attempt to feel loved, joyful, and a sense of belonging.
As the years went on she looked successful on the outside, but her insides were rotting away with worry, loneliness, and anxiety. There were periods of deep heartache and grief as she lost two children during pregnancy. The inital loss was of a son 6 to 8 weeks before he was to be born. The second was less than a year later and early in that pregnancy. Eventually, exhausted, lonely, fearful, and depressed, her life came crashing down around her. She became so anxious and depressed that she could hardly care for her two small children who came into her life through adoption. These were very dark and lonely times – she described it as “walking in a monochrome world with zero color – just barely getting by, going day to day with no meaning or purpose.”
It was then, by some small miracle, that she found the 12 steps. Though she wasn’t an alcoholic those steps and new “program” friends helped her find emotional sobriety. In those 12 steps, she found the beginning of a new way of life. She found a way back to the joy and belonging she knew as a child. She found a connection to Creation/Source/Divine/God/Higher Power (call it what you want) that went well beyond any organized religion. It was a connection that held all of her broken dreams in healing and loving tenderness.
Her journey, however, wasn’t yet complete. Right before COViD hit the world, breast cancer hit her- and hit her hard. Her journey wasn’t one of a battle in the traditional sense of “fighting cancer.” Rather it was a battle of doing what needed to be done medically, and more importantly, trusting the outcome to the Higher Power and new way of life she had found. Staying grounded in joy and acceptance of what is (and would be) was the path she chose to take. Friends would say to her, “you got this fight – beat this! F-Cancer!! She would smile, thank them and continue doing what needed to be done medically while holding the outcome loosely. She thought, “Life would do what it would do and she would be OK either way.”
The physical and emotional journey was arduous and full of pain and joy. Fighting and demanding what wasn’t hers to control she figured would only lead back to anxiety and worry. In “accepting life on life’s terms” she was free to enjoy the sunset, the love of her family and friends – the small things that would go unnoticed if she demanded what wasn’t hers to control. Ultimately, cancer left her body, though she would never be the same again- physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
During this time she wrote, “Out of the mud comes the lotus. Out of the mud of our lives comes beauty and joy.” Her life, with all of its ups and downs, tragedies, and joys led her to a deep knowing. A knowing that in the ordinary unfolding of life (including being bullied, losing children, experiencing anxiety, divorce, depression, cancer, etc), one can still find and experience our truest selves as a whole, connected, and complete. She learned that love, light, hope, and deep joy weren’t contingent on any external event or condition. They were always present inside and ready to be experienced, regardless of the circumstances. She learned that an authentic community – where one can be real and accepted – is necessary for this journey to wholeness and transformation.
After cancer, she had beautiful lotus flowers tattooed over her scars as an ever-present reminder that even the most difficult times can be transformed into something beautiful. It reminds her that the “mud” of life isn’t who we are; instead we are that beauty that rises out of the mud.
Purple Lotus Collective was born out of this girl’s life journey. A simple girl who found her way back to great joy, deep belonging, and wholeness through spiritual connection and authentic community. A girl who wants to continue on that journey with others to nurture them and co-create communities to know and emanate love, light, hope, and joy in their own lives and the world around them.
——
CV/ Experience details:
Along the journey, Babs earned her BSN and MA in Theology. She worked as a nurse in various settings, ran a grad school, had a dog training business, and recently spent 15+ years leading and growing a spiritual community where she led contemplative and meditative practices. She has been on a contemplative and meditative journey for over 3 decades. She is an ordained Senior Minister of Holistic Healing.